Monday, June 22, 2009

What do Mr. Darcy and Edward Cullen Have in Common?

It’s the 22 of June today. I haven’t updated since the mid-point of my trip to Costa Rica. Not too much happened during the second part of the trip and I think I can pretty much sum it up in a couple of sentences.

The Land Rover fell apart. We put it back together. At night. I made chocolate. I slaughtered a pig. I smoked a pig. I made bacon. We had a house built. I traveled to the Delta. I bought half of 12 cattle. I came home.

What Women Want

Yesterday I continued a conversation that I have been having with my sister for a couple of years now. Periodically, Kelly and I discuss women. It usually starts with a question.

“Should I read Pride and Prejudice?”

“You probably won’t like it. Why do you want to read it?”

“Because women seem to believe that it is an important book and I want to be able to tell them honestly that I have read it.”

“Watch the movie first. Some boys like the movie”

Kelly loves literature. She was pursuing a master’s degree in English before she had my oldest nephew, Parker. Our usual conversations consist of science fiction, literature, and girls. I trust what Kelly has to say because she is one of the most self-aware people that I know. When we talk, she does not make a snap judgment about what I am saying, but rather she listens and contemplates my questions until she is ready to give an answer that she really believes.

In one of his books, Donald Miller talks about love in the contexts of a conversation he had with a girl. He told this girl that he viewed love as a partnership, an agreement that involved teamwork. He said that at times he and his future wife would be attracted to other people, but that they would choose to love each other anyway. His friend believed that she and her future husband would adore each other till the day they died.

When I asked Kelly what she thought, she told me that she believes that the point of marriage is to make you holy. Marriage is about learning to love a person the way G-d loves them, truly, not begrudgingly, not because of what they do for you or how they make you feel, and not because they are perfect.

I like Kelly’s ideas about marriage because they do not unrealistically claim that you will automatically adore your wife, but they also don’t turn marriage into a prison in which you are bound by duty to a person that you do not love. Kelly’s ideas mean that I will have to work hard and sacrifice, but in return I can learn to love someone the way that Christ loves them, for real, forever.

I Had an Epiphany Today

It happened while I was in the kitchen describing my most beautiful friend to my sister. This girl is incredible. On top of being naturally beautiful, she is always well dressed. She loves art and is practically a literary scholar. She is full of dreams, romance, and a desire for adventure. In short, this is the kind of woman that my heart desires.

The thing that I realized is that I am looking for four things in a girl.

The first two things are easy. I want a girl that can manage money well and I want a girl that will be a good mom.

The third thing is rare. I want a girl that passionately loves the L-rd.

The final thing is nearly impossible. I want a girl in whom I will not lose interest.


about the bear said...

she's out there. i know she is. don't fret trying to find her though. God has it all worked out.

kf.ruhamah said...

Maybe you should read *Pride and Prejudice and Zombies* instead?

I have to clarify about that book--this is maybe the *only* instance where I would ever say "Watch the movie." The six hour long BBC movie is excellent, and very faithful to the book. And sometimes boys like it. Even without the presence of decaying bodies.