I have lost heart. Every time I try to figure out how to make this ship work it gets more expensive. I cannot spend $10,000 or more right now. I just don’t have that kind of money to put into an adventure that may fail. If this is something that G-d wants me to do, he will need to provide the funds. I will continue to pray but I don’t want to think about my ship anymore if it is not going to happen.
I started learning how to play soccer yesterday. My neighbors are good teachers. They do not laugh at me or get mad when I accidentally break the rules. I think I am going to buy a soccer ball so that I can practice.
Anita and Joshua and several others have told me that my being here is not a waste and that I should take advantage of it as a time to grow in the L-rd. I just don’t know. It is hard to think about what I could be doing back home. I just don’t know.